How long should sex last? Good question. It's something that's had humanity puzzled for a long time, and there's not really a "right" answer. But if you're looking for ways to turn a quickie into a long, sensual session, then we've got you covered. What's the best way to make things last? If you ask us, it's focusing on your partner, instead of worrying about yourself. Make sure they come first, in every sense of the word…
Prolong the pleasure
You're not in a hurry, so let's take things nice and slow…
Foreplay
Indulging in some sensual foreplay means your partner will be all worked up without… overstimulating yourself.
A slow, luxurious massage is a great way to do this – check out our massage section for all the oils you'll need, as well as mood-setting candles and books on giving the perfect rub.
Toys
Working some toys into proceedings is our absolute top tip for prolonging pleasure for as long as possible. Use vibrators on your partner during foreplay, or tag them in during the main event to keep things buzzing along if you find yourself getting too close.
But that's not all. Cock rings were invented for this very purpose – keeping you harder, for longer by restricting blood flow out of the shaft. It's a natural way to last longer, with the added bonus of feeling a little bigger too.
If you’re really looking to last as long as you can go for a non-vibrating option as our vibrating cock rings might just feel too good!
Change it up
Familiarity isn't good for anyone. Indulge in a new experience…
New positions
You might think an exciting new position is more likely to speed things along a little, but it's often the opposite.
A routine means you know exactly what's happening – sticking with your usual vanilla position means you'll be anticipating when and how you usually come, which means it'll probably arrive a little quicker.
Mixing it up with new positions will help you keep your mind off coming too quickly if you're more focused on the practicalities of the whole thing.
Looking for some inspiration? Try our sex position cards for a helping hand.
A naughty little twist…
Bondage is a deliciously naughty way to turn foreplay into something seriously special. Restraints and harnesses can heighten the tease without pushing you over the edge, and help you try new positions too. Spanking is a playfully painful way for your partner to keep you in line. Those minutes will easily turn into hours…
Put on the breaks
When all else fails, it's time for some techniques to make sure you take your time.
Pre-gaming
Don't go out there with a loaded gun, as the saying goes. Masturbating before sex will make it a lot harder to come quickly – you'll have to build up your arousal from scratch, so you can pace yourself a bit better.
Just make sure you take care of yourself far enough in advance – an hour or two, rather than a few minutes, or you'll be in danger of seriously overcompensating.
Edging
Everyone has a point of no return – the tipping point where you can't stop yourself from coming no matter how hard you try. Edging is about recognising when you're approaching that point, and stopping before you get there.
Edging takes some practice, so it helps to try it out solo first. Bring yourself almost to the point of climax (we've got some great toys for the boys if you need some help), and stop before you get there. Squeezing the base of the shaft in the same way that a cock ring would can help if you feel yourself tipping over the edge.
If you do this enough, it really will help you delay orgasms. And it'll feel amazing while you're on the edge.
You can use edging while you're with a partner, too. Embrace it, and indulge in some serious tease and denial that'll have you both begging for release.
Before you reach the edge, you stop. Pull out and let your partner put you were they want you most. Switch to oral, involve some toys, and let yourself get to a safe level again. Then rinse and repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
Am I lasting long enough?
It's a concern many men have, and we get it. There's a lot of pressure to "last" in the bedroom, as if it's quantity rather than quality that matters.
You'll find plenty of opinions on how long you should last, and they'll all say something different. A survey of Society for Sex Therapy and Research members tells us that anything under three minutes is too short, and about seven to 13 minutes is the perfect length. Any longer, and it might be too much.
But the "long enough" question only ever seems to cover the moment the guy enters to the moment he comes, and doesn't really consider the other person at all. Stick with our tips, focus on getting your partner off, and it won't really matter how long you last...