A few years back, I met a married couple looking to spice things up in their marriage. The husband, Justin was someone I was instantly attracted to, tall and tanned, and in the gym six days a week. The wife, Dena, was a bit more timid, shorter than me with a curvy body she was putting the work into sculpting. When they approached me, it was Justin first, and I thought he was working an angle. Getting hit on or pursued by married men was something I was very familiar with. While I had only ever caved and dated one married man, as a waitress and bartender for a majority of my life, I was accustom to how men acted when their wives were not around.

But as time went on and our friendship grew, I realized that Justin definitely had an angle, but it wasn’t the one that I thought.

Instead of pursuing me himself, he was constantly trying to put his wife and me in the same room. Suddenly we were doing a late morning workout so Dena could come. Justin suggested that I ask Dena to hang out, telling me she needed more female friends or she needed a girl’s day out.

Our friendship grew, and we began going on dates together. Then one night Dena messaged mean told me to come over, instructing me to come in the sliding glass door of their bedroom. When I got to their house, I did as instructed and found the couple naked on the floor of their bedroom. I joined in at their behest, kneeling down to press my mouth against Dena’s warm, wet cunt. Her fingers laced through my hair, pulling my face tighter against her. When her eyes were closed, Justin moved around and placed his hands on each of my hips. He pressed his hard erection against my ass, but he never pushed it inside me. I was guessing that was against their rules, but I never asked.

After that night, we met up a few different times, but then one night I showed up and it was only Justin waiting for me.

“Where’s Dena?” I asked, looking at him sitting on the bed.

“Out of town.”

“And this is okay?”

“It is.”

But it wasn’t.

Justin and I met up a few times after that. I never brought it up to Dena. I never asked him if it was okay with her after that first time. When I talked to my friends about it, I told them that it was because I trusted him, but part of me thinks it was because I liked having his attention to myself sometimes and I didn’t want that to end.

But eventually, the guilt ate away at me and I asked Dena to make sure it was okay with her.

Turns out she had no idea it was going on.

After my encounter with Justin and Dena, I was afraid of being in a threesome again as a guest star.

I think that if you’re looking to go outside your marriage and something goes wrong, it can’t really be blamed on the third person that you bring into it. That isn’t me trying to skip out on any blame for Justin and Dena’s relationship becoming more complicated, but truly, I don’t think any of the blame can be placed on me.

After that little bout of being a couple’s unicorn, I was kind of turned off by the experience. While their issues weren’t mine and were there long before I came into the picture, I still felt guilty about the state of their relationship after everything was said and done.

I went my own way and ended up meeting D, who was my on-again, off-again boyfriend for two years. He was the guy who, sexually really got me. He wasn’t threatened by my attraction to women or by my desire to constantly be trying new things in bed. A few months into our relationship, we were even presented with a chance to have a threesome.

While up until then I had already preferred to be a guest star instead of having one come into the bed I shared with my partner, that threesome showed me that either can really be fun. A lot of the reason I was never into doing threesomes as a couple was because of my own insecurity. I didn’t want my partner to fall for the new person in our bed.

Truthfully, if your relationship is solid and you are honest with your partner, there is no reason for a threesome to do anything but make your relationship better. I have seen the negatives and the positives of threesomes, from all sides and now, I want to try it again.

It’s not that I’m getting laid, but it all just seems so….. vanilla.

I have a couple of friends with benefits that I’m seeing right now, and they’re great. But the sex is just okay. Part of me wonders if that is because there is no emotional connection between me and them. Well, I can’t speak for them, but there is no connection or feelings on my end. There is another part of me that wonders if the reason the sex seems just okay is because of what I lost when D and I broke up.

My sex life with D was off the charts. We had a deep emotional connection and were adventurous, always trying something new, getting each other off in new erotic ways. I lost a lot when I lost D, but the loss of that deep sexual connection is something I really miss.

But just because I lost that connection with one person, doesn’t mean I can’t have it with someone else. D isn’t the only person that I can do fun, sexy, exciting things with.

Because, unlike monogamous sex, being a unicorn is extremely sexy and exciting.

Walking into a room, knowing that more than one person is waiting, wanting you, is pretty fucking hot. The first time I stood in front of Justin and Dena and took my clothes off is still one of the hottest moments of my sex life. Even though I wasn’t the sexiest person in that room, I sure as fuck felt like I was.

And I miss that feeling.

I miss feeling like my adventurous self. That confident girl who felt like the room revolved around her, all eyes following her. I’m craving something new, something different, something a little dirty and dangerous.

Part of me really wants to join the hunt again.

I have been pretty adamant with anyone that I am seeing that I am not in a place right now to pursue a relationship. I want to explore new things sexually, as well as new partners. After D and I ended in December of last year, I was kind of tired of the mental and emotional toll relationships take on me. I’m looking for fun and sexy trysts, and that kind of makes me want to put myself out there as a prospective unicorn again.

I want to find the fun in having sex again, and I think heading back into the hunt might be just the ticket. While it isn’t the easiest thing, swiping through tinder to find the perfect couple to play with, it is how the game is played, and this girl is ready to get back in the game.