Has the world of bondage got you all tied up in knots, and not in the right way? Showing a little restraint in the bedroom is one of the easiest ways to indulge in a little kink, and if the thought of bondage turns you on then you should definitely give in to those desires. Go on. We dare you.
Bondage of any kind is a really intimate way to play with your partner by handing over complete control and surrendering yourself, and we're here to help with our complete guide to choosing the perfect bondage restraints. Having a helpless (but willing) victim is just as much fun as struggling against your restraints; it's all about your preference. Switch it up, use bondage ties or handcuffs and see what works. We promise you're gonna love it. It doesn't have to involve pain, either. The two often go hand-in-hand, but sexual bondage can be as sensual or as painful as you want it to be. Exploration is everything and it's all about discovering what hits the right spot for you. But where do you start? What can you use? And how do you do it? We're here to answer all these questions and more, so read on…
The Dos and Don'ts of Restraining
Using sexual restraints in the bedroom is fun, whether you opt for the age-old tie around the wrists or you go pro with under bed restraints or spreader bars, but there are a few rules you need to follow to ensure that everyone has the best time and doesn’t get hurt. Follow these simple dos and don’ts to stay safe at all times.
The dos of playing with restraints
- Discuss the scene thoroughly and agree on a safe word beforehand
- Stop straight away if the sub uses the safe word or sign
- Use common sense and stop if they appear to be showing signs of discomfort or pain
- Keep a pair of blunt scissors nearby for a quick escape from tape or rope
The don'ts of playing with restraints
- Don't leave a restrained sub unattended
- Never tie someone up in a way that restricts their breathing
- Don't put any pressure on sensitive joints, veins or nerves
- Don't restrain your sub in the same position for long periods of time
The Different Types of Bondage Restraints
There's a whole rainbow of restraint types out there, so before you tie each other up it's important for you to learn what's out there and communicate about what is best for you both.
Handcuffs & Hog Ties
Aah, a classic. Handcuffs are perfect for binding wrists and ankles to one another. You can cuff their hands in front, behind or to the bed – the choice is yours! If you’re new to BDSM, bondage handcuffs are the perfect beginner restraint. Plus, they can add to your -sexy police roleplay scenes when you need to lay down the law. If you’re wanting to give up even more control, keep your ankles restrained together with your wrists with a set of hog ties. Whether you cuff your wrists to your ankles behind your back or in front of you, we guarantee you’ll feel amazing.
Door restraints
Open up a whole new world of possibilities and take a peek inside. Door jam restraints may look a little intimidating but they are actually incredibly easy to use and add the perfect S&M bondage vibe to your bedroom. Simply hook them over the back of a door and tie your sub into them for some hot stand-up sex. You’ll feel an intoxicating sense of vulnerability with no easy movement and your Dom or lover having full access to your body. With our over-the-door restraints, get ready for a sensational mix of fear and arousal.
Spreader bars
Strap in and prepare to be at the complete mercy of your Dom. Spreader bars attach to your ankles and with their telescopic poles, are completely adjustable, leaving you helpless and totally exposed but ready for pleasure. There are all sorts of different positions that can be achieved with the use of adjustable BDSM spreader bars, so get going! The thrill of using a spreader bar will send tingles through your body and have you begging for more.
Under Bed Restraints
Not everyone has four posts at the corner of their bed, which are perfect for restraining subs. But with under-bed restraints being and option, nobody should miss out on kinky fun. Bed restraints have long cords that slip under your mattress, the weight of which will keep them nice and tightly in place. They pack small too, so you can take them with you to any place of pleasure. So, if you’re going on a romantic holiday, take a set of bondage bed restraints with you and spice up your getaway.
Bondage Rope
Get all tied up with some good old bondage rope. This allows you to be a little more creative in your endeavours, perhaps letting you experiment with a bit of Shibari (Japanese Rope Bondage). Bondage rope from our range of restraints looks and feels the part, is strong and durable, but feels great on your skin. Using our luxury bondage rope can make for excellent roleplay scenes if you’re into hostage type scenarios.
Collar & Leads
Get ready for a night of primal passion. Take your powerplay up a notch with a collar & lead if humiliation kinks or puppy play are your thing. Tie the collar around the sub’s neck, leaving space for two fingers to fit underneath, all the way round. When you’re having sex doggy style, have the Dom give the lead a light tug to add more excitement. Putting on a collar and lead is a very dominant and intimate act in BDSM and it’s great for foreplay.
What not to use
Before you grab anything from around the house, hit the brakes and slow down for a second. There are a couple of things that you really shouldn't use for DIY bondage supplies, no matter how fun they might look.
The first thing on the no-no list: duct tape. It might seem like a classic restraint tool but it's not always great for your skin. It's an industrial strength adhesive so you can be sure it'll sting when you rip it off, and it'll probably take some hair with it too. Ouch.
But if bondage tape ideas really turn you on, don't despair because there is a solution: specialist bondage tape. Bondage tape is a non-adhesive tape that will only stick to itself rather than your skin, and you can wrap it nice and tight without doing any damage.
Rope is another classic too. In fact, rope bondage is a whole area of play on its own but just like with tape, don't go for any old thing. Household rope, garden rope or sports rope are all incredibly tough and coarse which means they aren't suitable for bondage play at all. But again, we have the answer. Bondage rope is nice and soft, but equally strong, which makes it perfect for keeping you in your place without irritating the skin.
Let's talk safety and comfort
How do you escape?
Once you're in, how do you get out? Whether you can escape from your restraints or not is a really important part of bondage, but there is a certain balance to strike.
Some people need to feel completely trapped, or the whole experience feels fake. Others can't relax unless they know that they can get out quickly if they really need to. It's all about communicating with one another and discovering your partner's preferences to make them feel as comfortable as possible. You should never try bondage or any form of BDSM play with someone you don’t completely trust to respect your limits. But feeling a little bit nervous and wanting a planned escape route is fine, especially if you’re a beginner!
Of course, you'll already know all the different types of bondage restraints that are out there due to our handy guide above, but some are more suited for a quick escape than others. Satin or lace ties, or even bondage rope, is good for this because whilst you can still tie someone up nice and tight you can also leave plenty of wiggle room. There's a lot more give in the material so you can just slip free.
Cuffs or ties with velcro fastenings are also good for providing a bit more peace of mind. They bring together the best of both worlds because you can feel fully restrained but also like you can easily rip your way out if needs be.
But if you'd much rather stay put, then go for something a bit more heavy-duty. Leather restraints or those with buckles and padlocks make for much stronger restrictions that you'll struggle to get out of.
Size does matter
In restraints, that is. Most restraints are nice and adjustable, with straps that will tighten and loosen as you need. You can tie rope how you like, of course. But there are a few that might not be for you if your wrists are on the larger or smaller side.
A traditional pair of handcuffs have a few notches to click through, but they're still not the most flexible restraint out there so they could be too big or too small for some. The same goes for cuffs with buckles; they will fit most people like a glove, but just like any watch, belt or far less fun item of clothing, they may be one notch too big or small for comfort.
Stay comfortable
Whilst you may be aiming for a little bit of pain during your BDSM session, it's important that you stay comfortable. Some people might like the hard bit of metal on skin that comes with a good pair of handcuffs, whereas others may find the fur models a little too tickly. Restraints not only come in all shapes and sizes, but also in all different textures, so make sure it's one that you can handle on your skin. The wrong kind of discomfort can be really distracting when you're trying to get into that submissive headspace.
Our advice is to do a bit of research and explore the different types of restraints that are out there. You might find that your initial thoughts are right, or you might be pleasantly surprised!
Don't forget the aftercare
Aftercare is an essential part of any form of BDSM play, and it shouldn't be an afterthought. Those who have been restrained can feel a little dizzy, stiff or 'out of sorts' after going through a scene. Their muscles may hurt from being in the same place for extended periods of time, and their emotions may be a little fragile.
Take good care of them from both a physical and emotional standpoint; hold them close, make sure you discuss the scene with them and perhaps give their wrists or ankles a massage to soothe those pressure points. You might also want to keep some warm towels and blankets nearby along with some Arnica cream just in case of bruises. Look after one another!
From bondage cuffs to tie up bondage equipment, shop bondage kits for all your bondage restraint essentials or discover what else the world of BDSM has to offer with our BDSM guides.