Spanking Guide - Naughty Never Felt so Good.

Spanking has become such a huge hit in the bedroom (see what we did there?) and it is an incredible way to experiment with dominance, spice up your foreplay or experience the heightened pleasure that goes hand-in-hand with a little bit of pain.

Are you tempted? We bet you are, so read on for our complete spanking guide and learn how to spank your sexual partners - bend over and get it right!

What is spanking?

If you're new to the world of bondage, then the idea of pain feeling good might strike you as a bit odd. If that is the case, then our question to you is; ever been to the gym? Or for a run? When you push your body to the limit, the chemicals that swirl around in our brain, coupled with the physical and emotional release, can provide us with a serious adrenaline rush that just feels kinda… good. Spanking basically works on the same principle, although it might not burn as many calories. We guess it depends on how vigorous you are.

Our bodies are actually hard-wired to take a little pain with our pleasure. Oxytocin is a hormone that gets released when you're aroused; which has earned itself the nickname of the "love" hormone. And studies have shown that oxytocin can actually increase your pain tolerance. So something that might feel like a little too much when you're not in the mood suddenly becomes an irresistible lip-biting sting behind closed doors.

It's also really, really intimate; you're putting a whole lot of trust in your partner when you're at each other's mercy, which can be incredibly sexy..

Why do people like spanking?

When you first open the door to the bondage world, it can feel a little forbidden and that something is wrong with you for liking pain. Well we're here to tell you that liking spanking says absolutely nothing at all about you. If anything, all it suggests is that you are in control of your own kinks and desires, and know exactly what you want in the bedroom. Being assertive is sexy, and is exactly what we like to see.

Much less fun people have tried to paint those who like a bit of BDSM or bondage as damaged. If pain gets you off, you must be a little bit strange, right?

Wrong. Not in the slightest. Saying to your partner 'I want to be spanked' is actually healthy and shows that you know what you want and are able to communicate it. There is also growing evidence that people who are into BDSM are generally better off in terms of mental health than their vanilla counterparts. And there's the scientific research to back it up. If you needed another reason to live out your fantasies, we've just provided you with the perfect one.

But spanking doesn’t need to be as wild as you’re thinking it to be. A cheeky bit of light spanking foreplay is bound to get you into naughty spirits before the main event!

Getting started with spanking

Broaching the subject is a tricky one, but the best way to bring it into the bedroom is just to communicate it with your partner. Talking is essential for any type of bondage and BDSM play, especially if it involves pain. This means that you should really agree on limits and safewords before you start anything too serious.

But for some people, uttering the words "I want you to spank me" can be difficult. It can be easier to introduce it in the heat of the moment; a nice and gentle slap during sex should tell you everything you need to know. If they're into it, you can ask if they want more, or ask them to do the same to you, safe in the knowledge that it's not going to shock them.

Bend over, baby.

How to give a spanking

Unfortunately, there are a few rules to follow when it comes to the world of spanking. After all, you are inflicting pain on one another so it's best to always stay safe to ensure someone doesn't end up getting too hurt. Luckily, our guide to spanking spells them all out for you.

The do's of spanking

DO warm up beforehand - We don't mean do a few stretches (unless it helps you of course) but rather warm up the area that you are about to spank, especially when it comes to spanking for beginners. Light pats and spanks with your hand will help to get the circulation going; as the skin pinks up the blood circulation increases, which helps to act as a cushion against a paddle, crop or flogger. That way it's far less likely to leave a mark. So start light, and work your way up to a hard spanking.

DO make sure everything is agreed upon - The tools being used and the frequency of hitting; it all needs to be decided before you play. And, above all else, make sure you are both aware of the safeword - the word you will say to stop all activity straight away.

DO keep an eye on your partner - Keep a close watch on their reactions, including any noises or movements they may make, to help you decide whether or not to ease off. Particularly if you are beginners, as the receiver may not be fully aware of their own limits.

The don'ts of spanking

DON'T hit in the no-go areas - There are certain areas of the body where spanking is acceptable, and others where it most definitely is not. We'll go into more detail on those soon, but it's important to never cross those boundaries. Not only could you make the receiver angry, but you could also do them some serious bodily harm.

DON'T push your partner past their limits - Safewords are there for a reason. If you hear your agreed-upon word then stop all spanking immediately and jump straight into the aftercare.

DON'T overdo it - Don't get carried away and release any tension you may be feeling on your partner, which means controlling how often you hit and your intensity. This is meant to be an enjoyable part of sex or a wider BDSM scene.

What should I use to spank?

Variety is the spice of life, don't you agree? Which is why it's fantastic that there are so many options out there for you to choose from when it comes to spanking. Each of the different "tools" that you can use offers something new, so choose your arsenal wisely.

Bare hands

Nothing beats the sting of skin on skin. Using your hands means you can completely control the impact on your partner. Fingers spread to cover a larger surface area? Or held together for a sharper spank? How much of the palm? We'll leave the finer details up to you.

Floggers

At first glance, floggers might look really intense and a little intimidating. The curling strands seem to promise pain with every impact, but our signature faux leather floggers are actually one of the gentlest tools out there - depending on how you use them, of course. Some find flogging to be sexually stimulating whilst others enjoy the physical and emotional experience of submissive role play. You can drag the ends of the flogger lightly over the skin to build anticipation, before bringing them down in a cascade of tingling pain. For maximum impact, practice getting a quick flick of the wrist to get a real bite.

Spanking Paddles

If you’re looking for an exhilarating experience, a spanking paddle will do just that. Big, flat and wide paddles make a loud and satisfying slap when they make contact with the skin, and they allow the wielder to spread the impact out over a wide area. This can make the pain less intense and focused than crops or whips, but a paddle for spanking has a little more power than a hand, which makes them perfect for spanking beginners who are starting to explore a little more.

Riding Crops

Invented for horses but perfect for taking your partner for a ride, a faux leather riding crop is a bondage essential. Crops have a small surface area on the tip, and the flexible swish of the handle means you can deliver seriously sharp, sweet, and stinging swats. Perfect for spanking addicts who can handle something a little more extreme.

Whips

Whips are the most powerful spanking tools you will find. Literal lashings of fun. Bondage whips are only for the experienced as it takes a fair bit of practice to control that much length and be able to land your hits exactly where you want them. Once you eventually get the hang of them, BDSM whips can really heighten the power dynamics at play, giving you both that extra buzz.

Positions for spanking

Now here's where our beginners guide to spanking gets good...

Assume the position! But which one to choose? When positioning your partner, remember to think of both their comfort and yours, especially if you’re planning on a luxuriously long session of pain and punishment.

The warm up

OK, so they're in the position and you're ready to get started, but do you just whip out your weapon of choice and start spanking? No. Start out by gently massaging the bum and thighs, give it a good squeeze every now and then to really increase the circulation and blood flow. Build up your spanks from light to heavy in a form of spanking foreplay; you'll know the skin is ready for more when it starts to blush a lovely pink.

Lying face down

For the beginners, we recommend lying face down on the bed - maybe with a couple of pillows underneath your hips to raise things up a little. It's comfortable and relaxing, while keeping everything nice and exposed.

Over the knee spanking

Over the knee spanking is one of the most intimate positions, as well as having that classic disciplinarian vibe - so hot. It's perfect if you're using hands, paddles or crops, or even for restraining the arms and legs if you're taking things to another level.

Doggy-style

During sex or not, doggy-style can really help to enhance the sensations that you are feeling. The skin is stretched much tighter so you will really feel every hit.

Spanking aftercare

After the spanking scene is over, it's really important to take some time to relax, cuddle up and discuss what's just happened, and apply some soothing lotions to help those warmed-up cheeks.

During intense BDSM play your body will fill up with hormones and chemicals that basically keep you in a heightened state, especially if you're the one taking the pain. Once the scene is over, that adrenaline drops sharply, and you may experience an endorphin crash. This is called the 'sub drop' - usually because it is the submissive who has been flooded with hormones. The answer is to stay comfortable, hydrated and remind yourself that what just happened between two consenting adults was amazing and nothing to feel ashamed of. You'll be ready for round two in no time.